It's 2012 and I know you're going through a lot right now. I know you just had your first heart break and I can almost feel the pain in your chest while you're hysterically crying in the shower, thinking no one could hear you cry. I wish I could hug you right now and tell you about how amazing life is going to turn out for you. I wish I could have talked to you to tell you to focus on yourself for the next few years. To let you know that even though you feel so ugly and unloved, that you are the complete opposite of that. You are beautiful inside and out and you have always been loved.
I know you hate your smile. I remember how you would not smile with your teeth and you hated how squinty your eyes are so you would raise your eyebrows for all photos. Can I tell you how beautiful I think your smile and eyes are? It's personally my favorite features on you and others could say the same. Please smile with all your heart and let your eyes get so squinty from smiling. I wish you had never let your smile be hidden from the world.
If you could have read this in 2012, I would just want you to know that you are going to go through a few thunderstorms before you get to the sunshine and rainbows. Please do not let these bad times get you down. After a huge thunderstorm, you get an opportunity of a lifetime to move somewhere you never knew would make you so incredibly happy. You are going to THRIVE. Before this big move, try to be more kind to your mom because she loves you and just wants the best for you and you will miss being able to be a bedroom away from her. You and your mom become incredibly close when you move away. Incase you were wondering, your bestfriend Allison and you are still bestfriends to this day. Although you guys are still long distance, you guys stay connected. In fact, she is visiting with your mom in one month for your birthday!
Since you're such a hopeless romantic, i'll give you a hint that in 2019, you believe you found your prince charming. You could say you feel like you're in your personal fairytale now. Be excited for your future.. I want you to know that you are so so happy. You have been so so happy for the past three years. Of course there will be bumps in the road, but it has not been to bumpy.
Well, that's where you currently are. Loving life and seeing where this adventure takes you. I am so proud of what you have been through and will go through. You are a lot stronger than most people would know. Keep your head up beautiful. This heartbreak will pass and you will see that everyrhing that happened to you all was a part of building the happy woman you are today. You will always be known as the smiley and happy girl and I love that about you. Love you the most.
Courtney, your future self in 2019.