Updated: Dec 14, 2019
Anything you needed, I was your girl. If it involved you getting what you needed to be happy, I made sure you got it. I think that's why I had many friends growing up. I was the "yes" girl. If you asked me to do something for you, I had this idea in my mind that if I didn't do it, I was an awful person and friend. I had this awful feeling that I would lose a friend every time I said no.
In some cases, if I did say no, I DID lose that "so called" friend.
I can't believe I let myself be controlled by these "friends" for so many years of my life. Not only was it sad that I would panic over the idea of losing a friend if I said no to doing them a favor, but it was also sad that I was right about most of these friends. If I didn't do them a favor, they wouldn't be my friend anymore.
About a year ago, someone special came into my life and made me realize that I need to stand up for myself and what will make me truly happy. Saying no sometimes ended up being the key to most of my problems.
Unfortunately I wasn't the one to crack the code, but I think what I needed was someone important to me see how unhappy I was making myself and help me put a stop to it.
"If they aren't your friends because you're not doing them a favor, they were never your friends to begin with."
Such a simple thing like saying no to you could be the easiest vocab word, but for me, it was one of the most difficult. I would've thought that once I began saying no, anxiety would course through my veins. This wasn't the case, and I truly began feeling in control of my life. I was finally told by someone special in my life that it is okay to put myself first. He told me if I don't want to do something, don't do it. It's that simple. He told me if something is ever bothering me, talk about it. So I have. Since I began saying no, I feel more confident in everything I say. It turned out, my true friends were okay with me saying no and taking a day to myself. It turned out, the people who were just using me for benefits found someone else to take advantage of. It lead to me speaking my mind more and questioning things when I don't understand how it is the best option for myself. I feel like I have learned to put myself at the top of my to-do list everyday.
Yep, I can't believe I let someone live in my room rent free for three months even though I told them they could stay for one week. Yeah, I shouldn't have let this person tell me when I was hanging out with them without asking if I wanted to. I know, I should have never let that person borrow rent money and not pay me back for two months. Yes, it is ridiculous I ever put up with people making me feel guilty when I wanted to spend some quality time with myself. I should have never gone out that night if I didn't want to.
I'm a very patient person, but I am now a very impatient person when it comes to not being happy. I apologize to the people who think I will always be a yes person, but I'm not anymore.
In all the chaos, I want to thank the people in my life that stuck around even when I'd say no and thank you to the special someone who helped me put into perspective that I should be at the top of my to do list. Screw being the yes girl.