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I know, I've been gone for quite a while. I think the reason I have been gone for so long on here is a mix of confusion in my life, the readjusting, and just not feeling up to write down my thoughts and feelings. I'm not sure I even feel like writing today, but I'm going to because I owe it to myself.

So, it's December now. In two weeks, I will be officially unemployed and parted with The Walt Disney Company. The past few months, I've just kept to myself. When I heard the news, I was heartbroken. I knew I needed to fully focus on my school work and finish my four classes strong because it felt like that was the only thing going for me at the time. Along with my classes, I came across one of my friends needing a babysitter. Babysitting has truly helped me cope with the loss of my job. I believe everything happens for a reason and timing is everything. That's why I feel like this babysitting opportunity came to me at the time it did. I've loved spending time with these kids. It has given me another purpose the past few months and has helped me be happy. So it's December, my classes ended and I got three A's and one B+... What is next for me?

Of course I want to finish school, but when Disney dropped the bomb that they aren't even doing my Disney Aspire program anymore if I do get asked to come back to the company, I lost all hope. I'm still unsure about my path, but I think I am going to take a semester off to figure out what to do financially. I found out Target is doing the aspire program for college as well, so if I apply in January, I could potentially have my college paid for that way. That would be amazing.

In the next week, I potentially am visiting my family (Gabe and mines) and it has really had me

looking forward to December. I think if it cancels, I'll be really bummed out, but I am just so thankful to have Gabe in my life. No matter what, it is nice to have him by my side. If I just spend the holidays with him, I'll be happy as well. He has been such an amazing partner throughout my lay off and through the entire pandemic. He has my heart.

In January, I also have an excited road trip with the family I babysit for and I think this will be a great and needed trip for me. I must admit, I'll miss Gabe and wish he was coming, but it will be nice for him to get to relax and play games with the boys! Sometimes it's nice for us to have a few days apart to be able to miss each other! When we spend days apart, I always am reminded that I COULD EASILY just spend every single day with him (my whole life with him). It is a great feeling to know.

I'm just writing down the things I am looking forward to. So many things could change in the meantime. What if Disney calls me back in two months? What if Target doesn't hire me? What if I apply to college and get great financial aid? What if I just continue to babysit? What if I work mornings at Target and babysit at night?

I'm just trying to plan out my months ahead, but sometimes I just need to ride the wave and see where it takes me.

Everything will work out, but I am #stressed

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