I sure did manifest this, didn't I?? Since December, I felt a shift coming and I started to prepare for it, but I didn't know why.
I remember really sitting with myself, questioning how much longer I could envision myself staying at Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique? How much longer could I get away with working at the most magical place on earth? After six and a half years, the universe decided it was time for me to move on. And normally I wouldn't be so bitter sounding but let me have this moment. "Time to grow up Courtney. You're 26 years old, pretending to be a fairy inside Cinderella's castle. You are barely surviving financially, but you loved this job with all your heart, so you stayed despite the financial struggle. You're liked by many here, but the few bullies and mean girls have really taken a toll on you. All you've wanted was to share happiness, rainbows and sparkles, but some people tried to steal it from you instead of share. They've dimmed your light. They've helped you realize that you need to shop sharing your light with so many people, because these energy draining people don't deserve anything from you. You've started to stand up for yourself, which you're so proud of yourself, but why do you have to put so much energy in standing up for yourself at a place that is supposed to be SO MAGICAL? You. Can't. Stay. Here. Forever. And you were just given the biggest sign that it's time to move on, you got fired. After six and a half years of long-term commitment, Mickey Mouse dumped you. I don't know what other sign you're really needing. It's time to grow up. But its not you, it's Disney that's the problem".
I'll grow up, but I'll never grow up. Does that make sense?
Disney royally screwed up firing me, but Disney will never know that, because I was just another nobody to them. At the end of the day, Disney did not know me, my own maaagicallll villain leaders did not know me, because they would've been royally devastated that I got fired if they knew me an ounce, but they also didn't care. The moment the castle lost it's shimmer was when they fired my friends and me.
So where does this leave me? Well, if something this huge is going to change in my life, I want more huge changes surrounding me and fast. I want all the financial, physical, mental, emotional changes. Because like I said, I am 26 and it's time for a big shift in my life and my newfound self-employment has shifted into gear so ready or not, it's time. Another shift in movement is that I am about to be moving into a permanent home. No more moving into new places with new people every year. Environment changes. Finally, somewhere I can decorate and call home. This is financially terrifying, but exciting in all other aspects. As for physical and mental changes, after eating away my feelings since I got fired, I finally threw away any leftover junk food I had in my house and really want to mentally push myself to try to eat healthier and get back in the gym every day. I also want to stop drinking soda, but little ol me can only do so much. Give me time on the soda please LOL.
I so badly want to create a routine in my life that gives me that control on everything going in the right direction.
I don't want to dwell on the negatives. I just want to dwell on the fact that big things happened that are shifting my entire life. Maybe this door closed in order for the door that has been patiently waiting for me to open and this door will show me that it is only just the beginning. Time to rewrite the narrative and get this new chapter of my life started. I guess we could call this chapter, the late twenties.